Writing to kill time...

I haven't written on this blog for awhile. There are lots of times that there is something in my mind that I feel passionate about and want to write about it. Unfortunately the moments that I feel that way are never conducive to actually writing. Often it is when I am in the car. Unfortunately, even if I'm at home I am usually too busy or the atmosphere is too chaotic for me to write. Then, when the opportunity finally does arise, I don't feel like it anymore.
Earlier this morning I was really pissed off. I was up on my soap box in my mind ranting and raving about a topic that we have been focusing on recently at work. The debate about this topic pretty much came to an end on Friday and the outcome wasn't all that bad, so I don't know why all of a sudden I got pissed about it again today.
After ranting in my head and being pissed, I just got kind of depressed. Not REALLY depressed, just that blah feeling, you know? So, it's been kind of a blah day. There isn't any real reason, I don't think. Maybe a little that the weather is all dark and rainy again. Maybe a little that I am trying to be healthy all of a sudden and might be having sugar withdrawals. But really I think sometimes we just have blah days; it's part of being human.
Earlier in the week I really wanted to write about nostalgia and memories and music, again. I was feeling really good in general; I had a good week last week, and I was feeling really passionate in a positive way about myself and memories and identity etc. Hopefully that feeling will come back and I will still write about it, but not today. I'm just not feeling it.
I'm glad Spring Break is only three weeks away. No pity needed but, I still really don't like my job. So, yeah, Spring Break is a good thing. I only hope for once we actually have a nice, sunny Spring Break. I'm not saying I expect it to be super warm or shorts weather or anything, just nice enough to do outside activities.
Yeah, remember in an earlier blog I talked about cycling through over-emotional periods and then when they ended feeling kind of bored and blah? I think I'm in the bored/blah phase of the cycle. I guess the good news is that the emotional phases are sometimes happy phases now, not just angsty. But right now I don't feel like I have anything to look forward to. I mean short term. There are always wonderful "down the road" things to look forward to. But, I really need short term rewards. The funny thing is, what constitutes a "reward" or something to look forward to changes depending on my perspective. I don't think it's that when I'm going through a blah phase that there is less to look forward to, I just think that the blahness makes things seem not as exciting or happy. When I'm in an emotional phase, good or bad, things coming up seem more interesting and therefore make me more excited.
Whatever, blah, blah, blah....