Today was a great day! It was a great day because it wasn't forced fun; there were no expectations. See, I was thinking about that the other day, forced fun. The first time I heard this term used was by my senior year A.P. Biology teacher. I think we asked her what she was going to do for New Year's Eve and she said that she didn't do anything for New Year's Eve because it is forced fun and forced fun is never that fun.
I think I realized right away that she was correct and I as the years have gone on I've come to fully agree with her on the issue of forced fun. Frankly, I can only remember one really, really good New Year's Eve and it was good because my boyfriend was out of town so I just kind of decided at the last minute what to do and didn't have any expectations.
Now that I'm a mom I don't really do anything special for New Year's Eve so it isn't bad, but nothing great either. But back when I used to actually do things on New Year's Eve, they almost always turned out bad or were a disappointment. This holds true for days like St. Patrick's Day and Cinco de Mayo as well. Days made for the soul purpose of having a reason to go out and drink and "party", but with these extra expectations of having an especially good time. You don't really need a reason to go out; if you want to go out go out and you will most likely have a better time because you really wanted to go out rather than going out because it is a designated day that you are "supposed" to go out.
So again, the problem is when we have specific expectations for the fun activity in which we are planning to participate. No one can predict the future and there are all kinds of factors that may change the outcome of a day or night. An activity may not go the way you would have expected it to if you had expectations, but can still be a lot of fun. The problem is, if you think about the expectations ahead of time, no matter how fun the experience is, you will still be disappointed because it didn't go the way you planned. If you didn't have the expectations in the first place then any fun can be truly enjoyed.
Other than designated days for forced fun, I also think we create expectations for activities when we are trying to re-create something. Maybe you had an amazing camping trip so you decide to go back to the same place next year and you want it to be the same as the year before, but it can't. It is not the year before. It is a new year and you are a year older and the people you are with are a year older and maybe there are different people camping near you or the weather is different and it just can't be exactly the same, but you want it to be so badly that you just can't enjoy the trip, no matter if the trip really is very fun.
I think I have been guilty of doing this for summer in general. I have had some really amazing summers and though I always look forward to summer, NEED summer by the time it comes, and enjoy summer, some are better than others.
The summer Mimi was born was one of the best summers of my life. Graham and the Baby Beorn were my best friends. I strapped Mimi onto my chest, and Graham and I were out hiking almost every day. "Hiking" might be hiking 4 miles in the Gorge or walking through the Rhododendron Gardens, but we were outside, amongst plants, walking most days. It was a phenomenal summer and none of it was planned. I mean, I had a newborn; I had no plans other than changing diapers, breast feeding, and being a mom. But Mimi turned out the be an easy baby that loved being out and about as long as she was cuddled up next to my chest and both Graham and I are restless; we don't really like just hanging around the house. So everyday it was just like, "Hey, let's go get breakfast and the Multnomah Falls Lodge and go for a hike," or "Wanna walk down to the Rhododendron Gardens?" It was organic with no expectations bringing true happiness to us.
I think I tend to plan too much for summer activities. I want to be biking and hiking and swimming and outdoor playing all summer, and there is nothing wrong with that. But I try to plan the activities ahead of time: "Tuesday we will finish swimming class, pack lunches, and head down to Jamison Square. Wednesday we will ride our bikes down to Johnson Creek and look for crawdads." I do this with no sense of how we will feel that day. Did we get enough sleep? What is the weather like? I'm trying to recreate past summers that cannot be re-created and were only great because they happened organically.
So, yesterday I just happened to be looking on the internet; I think I was looking for when the Sellwood Pool has open swim time. I happened across a mention of the Leach Botanical Gardens and went to their website. It looked really cool and I knew at some point this summer I wanted to check it out.
Mimi and I had planned to either go to Jamison Square or the river today. I had planned to get up at 7:15 like I do every morning and work out. When I woke up, however, with Mimi in bed with me (because she always comes into my room early in the morning) we just cuddled and giggled and stayed in bed for awhile. I REALLY didn't feel like doing the same old workout and then rushing to get ready for swimming. I really just wanted to have a chill morning and drink coffee and actually make some eggs for breakfast. So, I did.
I was able to get some little things done and enjoy my coffee and take time getting Mimi ready for swimming. However, there was still the issue of making sure to get some exercise before the day was complete. So, out of the blue I asked Mimi if she wanted to ride in the bike trailer, later today after swimming, and go out to the sheep farm (a little before 172nd on the Springwater Corrider Trail) and then ride over to the Botanical Gardens and check it out. (The Gardens are a little less than a mile south of Foster on 122nd...easy to get to from the trail.) She was game.
So, that's what we did and it was wonderful and I got some good exercise dragging her and her trailer on my bike and it was just lovely. I never knew about the Botanical Gardens and it is a really awesome place; I recommend it highly. It's free too, so that is a plus. Mimi and I saw hobbit houses and pixies, heard fairies rustling in the bushes and possibly the galloping of a unicorn. Today was what summer is about.
Not that we didn't have a good time at the Sellwood Pool yesterday; we had a blast. But it wasn't spontaneous and magical like today was.
In other news, Graham called me today from Estacada. I had planned on him calling me yesterday, so I was feeling a little nervous that I hadn't heard from him. They didn't end up driving to town yesterday so he didn't have cell service. So today he called and he is safe and fine so that is a weight off my shoulders. He wasn't very verbose so it is hard to tell if he is having a good time, miserable, or somewhere in the middle, but at least I know he is alright and I get to see him tomorrow.
Finally, I finished the book "Uses for Boys" and it was alright. Like I said before, I think it was a superb choice for subject matter as I think there are lots of girls out there that could relate. I also think the author did an excellent job of describing and capturing sex and making love, what it is like when it is a one night stand, what it is like when you are young and head over heels in love. But I still think the book lacked some depth, especially in terms of character development. Rather than making a stylistic choice to leave a lot for the reader to infer, it felt like the author said so little because she didn't know how to articulate what needed to be said. So yeah, interesting read but nothing stellar.
I'm thinking I might not start a new book for awhile because next week is pretty busy, getting ready to go to Salt Lake and then I will be in Salt Lake for over a week and I know that will be very busy. I've been doing most of my reading during Mimi's daily swim classes and those are over for awhile so, we'll see.
I'm anxious for Tuesday's weigh in and will keep you updated whether the results are good or not. I promise to always be honest on this blog. Ok....toodaloo!
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